Why did I create a blog

Why did I create a blog? I ask myself that quite often. I'm still not quite sure why I decided to create a blog. For the most part I think I want to try to keep up with my new progress.
 I always knew I was different. My mother raised me to be independent and to rely on no man. And yes I did have a great daddy. My mother had been married 2 times before meeting my dad. I believe that she was terribly hurt and that once he left she was just going to do everything herself. Years later she met my father and yes they got married and had me! However I think my mom wanted all of us to be independent and to never rely on anyone. I understand why she raised us the way she did but something always felt weird or off or I was just different.
I knew from a very young age my goal in life was to marry and bear children and guide the house. I've always wanted to do that. I went to church but not the kind that really taught that that was the job of the wife. My mom work on and off when I was a child. When I was about 8 I guess not really sure she started to work for this guy Moose and he allowed her to bring me to work after I got out of school. Which was awesome if you ask me. My dad is a mechanic and my dad had had a son before he met my mom. My brother Aaron always was mechanically inclined. I was very envious. I always wanted to spend more time with me dad I always want and still find myself wanting his approval. My brother would go with my dad and work on transmissions(my dads specialty) and I would want to go but as a child I don't remember going much. I think it was normally dark when dad came home to work on side jobs and mom would have given us our baths and getting ready for bed.
When I was a teenager I wanted nothing more than to be a mechanic like my dad. I was a wild child and I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. It wasn't until I was sixteen in a relationship with this emotionally abusive boyfriend that I realized what I wanted in life. I was very fragile in that time in my life. In 2005 my brother Aaron died and in April 2006 I met my boyfriend. I remember in December 2006 I started praying that if God would give me the strength to leave him I would. I know this sounds silly I was 16 I should have just broke it off. I don't think my parent knew about the abuse until the end of the relationship. However my brother committed suicide and my boyfriend always told me if I left him he would too. And his mother confirmed he was sucideal a lot. So I was afraid to leave. I didn't want he's death on my conches. In march of 2007 my friend told me about this guy I had to meet and I was a firm believer that you should never cheat. However somehow she talked me into it and this guy ended up being my husband 3 years later. He was the answer to my prayers. I thank God for him everyday.
Up until last year around this same time of the year I was a alright wife. I have two beautiful kids I plan on homeschooling and I stayed at home he didn't want me to work and I don't want to. However there were things I didn't do right. I always fought him on leading the house and I clung to my parents more than him. I wore pants even though he told me and showed in the bible I should wear skirts. I thank God he stuck with his stubborn wife and I'm sure prayed hard for me. When I was on vacation with my parents to see my grandpa it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was doing everything all wrong. So I prayed and I asked for forgiveness. I called my husband crying asking for him to forgive me and when I get home we needed to talk. I knew I was wrong. I wanted to be a better wife. He said "Dana I love you everything is okay and we can talk when you get home" it was the biggest comfort.
Once I came home I showed him all I learn while I was away and asked him to help me find out the right way to be. I told him he's the head and I will follow him anywhere.
Now a year later I have improved a lot and I love my life I didn't know just how miserable I was until I chose to do right. And now I am on a journey to go back to the old paths because that is where I feel normal. I am the person that wants to hang cloths up to dry, and I have chickens so I can have eggs, I want to homeschool my kids, I want to cook 3 meals a day, I want a farm with cows, chicken, and horses, I love the King James Bible and read it every day ( even though I never have read it through) I love wearing skirts and being modest, I AM AN OLD PATHS KINDA GIRL. However I have a lot to learn. I wasn't raised on a farm or even know a lot about a farm. I can get a four wheeler and get muddy in a heartbeat. I also want to start a journey of eating better (paleo mainly) and a good exercise  routine. With a 3 year old that is a very picky eater and a 1 years old this should be fun.
I started this blog so maybe I can help keep track of it all and maybe just maybe there is someone like me that wants to go back to the old paths and has no idea how. I pray this will help.